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» Twin Bulletin Board   » 3   » Fighting Twins   » Please help. . .

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Author Topic: Please help. . .
Junior Member
Member # 3024

posted 12-02-2004 11:13 AM      Profile for needadvice        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
About three months ago and old friend of my twin sister and mine contacted us to start hanging out again as friends. Well this old friend of ours is also my sister's ex-boyfriend (from 12 years ago and they went out for 6 weeks). Anyway, she started having feelings for him again and expressed that to him. He freaked out and e-mailed me and wanted to know what to do because he only wanted to be friends with her. I told him he needed to be honest with her and tell her that. Well he ended up telling her that they could take things slow and whatever happens, happens. When she told me that I told her that I was jealous and she thought I was jealous that she had someone in her life and I didn't. I told her no that wasn't what I was jealous of - I was jealous of the fact that it was him, because I had feelings for him as well. But I told her that if they were going to pursue something that I would back off. Well the following week my sister was out of town at a conference and this guy and I were talking. My sister had told him that I did have feelings for him even thought I told her not to say anything. Well when we were talking on the phone I started to wonder if he had feelings for me. So one night I asked him if he had feelings for my sister other than friendship and he said no. Then I asked him if he had feelings for me because I knew that he already knew about my feelings for him. He said he did start to have feelings for me. I told him that we couldn't act on those feelings until we talked to my sister about them. We decided that was the best thing to do and as long as she was OK with it, then we would pursue a relationship. So later that week, she got back into town and they talked and she gave us her blessing to pursue a relationship. So we did and then a week later she changed her mind and said she couldn't handle it and that we need to break up. She went back and forth with her feelings for the next two months. She also told me to stop attending the same aerobics class as her and to go to the earlier class. I could only talk to him in my room with the door shut. Then she told me that I couldn't use "her" phone anymore. Then on October 6th he called me and told me that we needed to break up for the sake of my sisters feelings and hope that she will come around and change her mind. So it is now December 2nd and she has yet to change her mind. I've been completely depressed and sad about the whole situation. I talked to her a couple days ago and told her that I wanted to resolve the situation and a friend of ours suggested that they could mediate our conversation, since all the other times I've tried to talk to her - she yells and cusses at me. She said she was fine with that, so will be talking on Sunday with them. In the meantime, I have been talking with this guy and he is completely confused about the whole thing and really wants her approval for us to be together. I'm stuck in the middle of them trying to get them to both agree to the same thing, but I don't know what more to do. Has anyone else gone through something like this or have any advice for me - Please help.

[ 04-28-2005: Message edited by: needadvice ]

[ 04-28-2005: Message edited by: needadvice ]



Posts: 1 | From: Denver | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
Junior Member
Member # 3026

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posted 12-06-2004 08:12 AM      Profile for Yoo_Twin1     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
This is a hard situation I would never want to experience. I mean, I think this is exactly why my sister and I have culminated different tastes in men. We always had the agreement we would never go after the same guy and probably not be interested in the least in the same guy. Your situation is different because you two do like similar type guys. Sorry I can't offer any realistic advice to you since I have never been in this situation before. Best of luck...remember that you need to keep communication open.



Posts: 11 | From: Delaware | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged

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