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Author
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Topic: My twin is almost my exact opposite
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Adonakim
Junior Member
Member # 2738
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posted 06-16-2004 11:26 PM
What do you do when God places you with a person who, physically speaking, is your exact duplicate, but, in every other way imaginable, is a the exact opposite of everything you are? My brother, 17, is not only a mean-spirited, quickly angered person that cusses enough to make a sailor blush, but is a drug addict who will do just about anything he can get his hands on? He drinks, he smokes, he even gets the cat high (no joke). I've never drank, smoked, or anything thing of that nature; I attend church on a regular basis and see myself, in the next 10 years, being a youth pastor. I can't get my brother into a church without coaxing him, and that's only worked once.
It pains me to see him in the condition he is. I hate to see "myself" doing drugs and simply being a miserable human being. I can't talk to him, he doesn't listen. How dare I tell "myself" what to do, huh? He thinks that I'm nothing but a goody-goody bible-thumper whose's only out to get him. Wy won't he listen!? I love my brother as he was my own soul and yet the feeling hardly seems mutual.
So what do I do? I know this much: I'll learn because few others get the chance to see what drugs and the wrong decisions WILL do to you without having to actually do them. I'm not making any of this up, I can assure you. This a 100%, true story. I have to say that because as I type this it hardly sounds real. But, such is my life. What do you think? Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated.
Posts: 1 | From: Texas | Registered: Jun 2004
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notquitethesame
Junior Member
Member # 2886
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posted 09-15-2004 06:55 PM
Hi there. I am 26, almost 27 and have been dealing with the same issues you mentioned in your post. I was actually a triplet, but my brother who was alot like your brother comitted suicide. He died when we were 17 years old. My sister and I, referred to now as "the twins" were good friends, but as we got older the same thing started happening. I am like you. I don't have to do drugs, alcohol, have sex outside of marriage, or whatever else for that matter to know it is wrong. I just know it is because I seen many people take that path and self destruct. I can't tell you things will get easier. I can only tell you that whether you think it or not, your twin probably worships the ground you walk on. He probably calls you a goody-goody because he is jealous. My sister is of me. I know this because she tears down everything I have worked so hard to build. She minimizes my accomplishments, calls my husband names and my children are brats. I think it is because she is so insecure that her life is falling apart, she feels the need to make mine fall apart too. She even told me to go kill myself today. Do I expect anything less from her? NO. She has always been irrational. I just have to rise above these things and be mature. I look at her pain and her hurt and jealousy and I realize she isn't attacking me. She's angry about things in her life and can't control it anymore and so the best thing to do is to attack the only stable thing in her life...and that is me. I am not trying to sound vain. I just have a handle on my life. I married a great guy and have children with him. We bought our first house and go to church together. We have built a life, a simple life, but one not surrounded by debt and misery and yelling and fighting. Her husband and her fight constantly and I am the one she calls when she needs help. I know she is bitter and angry of the things that I have done on my own. She is angry her life is the way it is. So, with your brother, look not at his actions. Look beyond them and know that he is hurting. He wishes he could have what you have. The only way he can make his life seem better is to tear yours down. Reach out a hand to him. Offer to help him and let him know you love him. I wish I had done this with my brother even though we were miles apart in thinking. I miss him all the time. It is just a cry for help. Your brother probably loves you more than you realize. I hope this helps.
Posts: 2 | From: MN | Registered: Sep 2004
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