Parents of Multiples Chat Board: Unintentional Bullying

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»	Parents of Multiples Chat Board » SPECIAL TOPICS » How to deal with your twins arguing » Unintentional Bullying

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Topic: Unintentional Bullying

ToddlersX2
Junior Member
Member # 654

Rate Member

posted April 27, 2003 07:41 AM

I was wondering if anyone can help with my 20month old boy/girl twins. The boy has a tendency to want anything the girl has ie: snatching toys from her, up ending her off her bike, hitting her over her head with objects, fortunately he has stopped biting her of late but how do I get him to stop doing these horrible things to her.... ie; this morning they were having thier bike game she's on one ... sees him approaching gets off that bike and goes to the other one ... he then just follows her to the other bike ... whereby she once again gets off that one and goes back to the other bike ... she is quiet happy to ride either bike .. but he just seems adament to tip her off.... so I intervened as I think she should be allowed to ride a bike without having to constantly swap at his whim, tried encouraging him to sit on the bike he had, but said "no" to him, pushing her of the one she was on ... ended up with him throwing a tantrum on the floor .. but still persistant in trying to pull her of the bike she was on ... so I picked him up and put him in his cot .... he's screaming and she hops off her bike runs into the bedroom and sits next to his cot upset that he is crying ......I am just exasperated with no idea on how to deal with the senario. Any suggestions?

Posts: 10 | Registered: Apr 2003 | IP: Logged

Kasey
Junior Member
Member # 1220

Rate Member

posted August 11, 2004 06:27 PM

That is exactly how my boys were. They are now 2 1/2, but around 22-26 months one was a complete bully to the other. With that exact senerio, too! Brandon, the bully, would always try to knock Julian off his bike, Julian would be afraid so he would always run away from toys when he saw Brandon coming. Everytime Brandon would be a bully he'd spend time in his room and there would be Julian running to be with him, sad. Now though, it's not nearly as bad. Julian stands up for himself now, maybe they grew out of it. We did teach them though to hug each other as their way of saying sorry whenever they hurt the other and that really seems to help with the fighting.

Posts: 3 | From: Deerfield Beach, Fl | Registered: Jul 2004 | IP: Logged

Karen R
Junior Member
Member # 1439

Rate Member

posted November 10, 2004 11:03 PM

Hi,
I have 19 month old identical twin girls. They get along well together at times, but also at other times they seem to constantly squabble over the same toy. We haven't had the bike situation yet, but it is always something. I don't think either one of mine is really the main bully -- maybe they are both bullies!! One of them is good a manipulating the other. She will want the toy that the other one has and so she will go and get another toy and give it to her. Then the one will drop the toy that she wanted and she then picks it up and runs off with it. Then the other one realizes it and starts crying. Do they just grow out of this kind of behavior or what? I have four older children, so it's not like I haven't dealt with some stuff, if you know what I mean, but this thing with the twins is so totally different. Are they always going to be competing for the same thing? Anyone who wants to chat about twins or has any advice is welcome to e-mail me.

Karen

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Karen

Posts: 5 | Registered: Nov 2004 | IP: Logged

Heidi I
Junior Member
Member # 1264

Rate Member

posted February 22, 2005 11:36 AM

Karen, I too have older kids and I think that is half of the manipulating issue. My 5 year old is a smooth talker and can get the girls to do just about anything to suit him because they just adore him. He has taught them to "trade" toys.
This mom thing is hard!

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Heidi

Posts: 12 | From: Maine | Registered: Aug 2004 | IP: Logged

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