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» Parents of Multiples Chat Board   » ASK DR. JIM-Do your multiples have emotional issues?Get prof. advice and share your opinions   » How to deal with your twins arguing   » Twins Fighting

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posted October 22, 2001 03:34 PM      Profile for ganztwins   Email ganztwins   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
For those new moms,it is natural for your multiples to argue. Do not be concerned. It is part of the relationship we have as multiples and just remember we love eachother more than words can say. The arguing does continue into adulthood in many cases but just ignore us(LOL)
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posted April 07, 2003 12:46 AM      Profile for alittlepill   Email alittlepill   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I am mom of boy-girl 5yr old twins!! Because I hear "MOM" Bridget did this or Joey did that. My answer is--fight it out, and the one that is left will not have to be a twin anymore. Now please don't believe that I allow them to get physical--NO I do get involved before that. But as long as it is an argument, they have to deal with it themselves. Usually it ends as quickly as it starts!!
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posted December 05, 2003 01:41 PM      Profile for Lorra   Email Lorra   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
My 13 year old twin boys argue all the time. They seem to think they are competing for everything. Whose the smartist who's does more around the house.. It will drive you crazy tring to make sure that one isn't doing more than the other especially when they are constantly argueing about why does he have to do it the other isn't doing anything. I just try and divi out responsibilities by one does it today and the other will do it tomorrow. Or one do this while the other does that. They still will argue but I try and remind them to think about what life would be like without the other. Then they usually make up.
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posted July 09, 2004 09:18 AM      Profile for Georgie   Email Georgie   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Hi, I have 4 year old identical twin boys. Has anyone got any ideas on how to get them to stop fighting. People keep telling me that it is a boy thing but alot of fists and feet are getting thrown around far to often. I have tried alot of things like - time out, taking toys away, seperating them. Please let me know your thoughts. Is this a twin things? Thanks Georgie

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posted July 20, 2004 12:47 PM      Profile for Katietwin        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
HI - I just wanted to post that my Mom and siblings (we had 4 olders brothers and sisters) were always very concerned about my identical twin sister nd I fighting. One of them has continually criticized the way in which we speak to one another, the proverbial boundaries we cross regularly with eachother, etc. All Ic an tell you is, the relationshipm I have with my sister is not like any other in this world, and never will be. We are eachother's best of friends, and simultaneously we're eachother's worst enemies. For as long as I can recall, the scrappy and particularly nasty arguments & fights we had growing up have morphed into some truly complicated adult conflicts and dramas. Yet, one factor remains consistent: We never stay angry very long, and we always come back to our core attachment to eachother. I have taken to warning my brothers and sisters that "they just don;t get it, and probably never will - so they should quit stressing out about and just leave my twin and I to work out our own issues". Occasionally, I still catch myself expecting Mom to mediate - to play "referee" amidst our battles. She's good about helping to patch things up once in a while, but for the most part she still opts out - probably a very smart thing.

When we were little though, if the phyisical stuff got out of hand, we were BOTH duly separated, and punished - no questions asked. The irony is that often this separation and punishment were what drew us back together. We would more or less be unified in our annoyance in being punished, and would decide to "team up" again.

It's important to foster your twins' individuality - let them know it's okay to be different people...as for myself, my twin has always been quite competitive, where I could care less how her life or list of accomplishments compares with mine.

Trust that what they have, even with its occasional barbs and intensity, is a unique closeness - one that they won't want to, nor would they ever know how to give up. It's a blessing and a curse, and I would not trade it for all the money you could offer! Good luck!

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posted October 22, 2004 12:47 AM      Profile for rogersmn        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I am the mother of identical 11 year old girls. The "best of friends/worst of enemies" scenario is so true with them. Their fighting is about to drive me over the edge! Help! What should I do? I am wondering if I should get them in to see a counselor, because no matter what I say or do, no matter how much I yell, cry or punish, it never gets any better. They are very intelligient girls, so I just don't understand why they don't realize that when they get along, our little corner of the world is a much happier place.
Posts: 1 | From: Waseca, Minnesota | Registered: Oct 2004  |  IP: Logged

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